Got out of the hospital yesterday around 330pm. What a great feeling. My geiger read was 1, which suggested it was misread the day before. Big surprise. I couldn't have possibly been drinking more water to get the radiation out of me. The scan of my items to see if they were contaminated was comical. The hospital threatened to confiscate my laptop. It just took a couple of wipes with Windex to 'decontaminate' it. The techs and nurses are really misinformed there. Actually I think they are informed on what to do with patients who take higher doses of radiative iodine, but they have no protocol for lower doses.
Still so exhausted without the synthroid. I have to admit I don't have very much energy...just enough to lie around and watch movies. I'm barely reading. Today, however I did have a recommencement Synthroid ceremony almost as fantastic as Beijing's opening day. Actually, I just swallowed it. The ensuing elation from the idea that my life and body were on the road back to normalcy was just brilliant. I took a 20 minute walk. The reasonably cool air and the scent of monsoon was grand.
I started to daydream about my next vacation too. Hawaii?? I've never been. The only problem about traveling with Juliette is that it's not really a vacation. For the first time in my life, staying home is really good. Juliette sleeps 12 hrs. a night here. Our last trip to Newport Beach in August worked because our room had a good-sized closet, big enough for her pack n' play to fit, so she had her own space. Generally, however, all of us in a hotel room is not a vacation. It's horrible.
The not-so-great part was listening to Madeleine cry for me on the phone last night. The guilt sucks. Of course kids are so good at moving on and it sounded like she was having fun today. Tonight I get a car dropped off at the hotel. Look out Scottsdale! Ready to hit the old town clubs. I'm joking. I'm actually pretty safe to be around adults, just not the kiddies.
My poor girls must have been born with some predilection for thyroid cancer. Their grandfather and now me, possibly my grandmother. I just want to give their little baby thyroids a fighting chance. One of the first questions the drs ask is whether or not you've been exposed to radioactive iodine (like many near Chernobyl were). I'd hate for the girls to develop this later in life and say, 'well, my mom came home early from her treatment.'
Monday, August 25, 2008
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Day 3-Trash neurosis part 2
yesterday they gave me a disproportionately generous slice of red onion with my meal. i definitely did not request it. i shuddered when i saw it. i am wondering how many days until it seeps through the ziploc bag that i managed to dig out of my own trash in here.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Day 2-Trash neurosis
Do you know what it is like to be locked in a small room with your own trash? Claustrophobic. I've now resorted to eating every last bite of hospital food on my tray rather than be stuck with it in here. The turkey was a little rubbery but edible and the chocolate chip cookie was pretty tasty.
Radiation vacation 330am
Creepy. I woke up at 330 am to go the bathroom. I noticed my body was vibrating or something. ewwwwwwwwwwwww, that was a weird feeling. I am downing water now. I'm on my 3rd bottle in 1/2 hour. I just don't want to puke, but I want this stuff out.
The other strange thing is that the hospital doesn't take anything out of the room while I'm here. So my food tray is still in here. Of course I didn't eat all of the food on it so it's grossing me out. At least the nurses put a bag around it and tied it up. They leave everything in here for a week or so til the radiation dissipates.
I can't believe they generally let people do this in hotels. How toxic are the hotel rooms we stay in? Can you imagine? You would never know if someone just before you was staying there for radiation. At the same time, this hospital stay is the most expensive 'hotel' I'll ever stay at. Can you imagine what kind of room I could get for $6K a day or whatever ridiculous amount they bill they insurance for? I could be at the Ritz in Paris for a lot less than that, or even the presidential suite at the Phoenician.
The other strange thing is that the hospital doesn't take anything out of the room while I'm here. So my food tray is still in here. Of course I didn't eat all of the food on it so it's grossing me out. At least the nurses put a bag around it and tied it up. They leave everything in here for a week or so til the radiation dissipates.
I can't believe they generally let people do this in hotels. How toxic are the hotel rooms we stay in? Can you imagine? You would never know if someone just before you was staying there for radiation. At the same time, this hospital stay is the most expensive 'hotel' I'll ever stay at. Can you imagine what kind of room I could get for $6K a day or whatever ridiculous amount they bill they insurance for? I could be at the Ritz in Paris for a lot less than that, or even the presidential suite at the Phoenician.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Day 1-Radiation treatment
What a day! Lots of phone calls from home. Only now at 1030pm is it quiet.
The drs requested that I arrive at 11am. After a little confusion, I made it into my room around 12:45PM. I was thrilled that it was ready. It's a nice little cell, made much better by the big window and the freezing air conditioning.
I was on a fast from 8am onwards. The radioactive iodine pill was supposed to come at 2pm, but I got it at 445 pm. Matt was here and after about 3 or 4 conflicting messages about how strong the radioactive substance was that I was about to take, I finally got it.
I had actually been really scared, but felt elated when I finally took it. I guess I felt like I was moving on to the next step in this miserable process. I didn't feel anything. No nausea, no glow. A tiny dry mouth, but that is now many hours later.
The first nurse came in and helped me get settled. She told me that nothing could leave the room once I took the pill. I would have to throw everything away...I was like, 'my laptop?' I had asked for a small fridge to keep my ‘green drinks’ in. She said they would have to throw the fridge away. I thought, ‘did you even bother to think about what you just said?’ I felt like I was talking to a phone operator.
The first nuclear medicine dr. came to visit and said, ‘now when you go home tonight just don't hold your baby close to your neck for more than 2 hrs.’ He was blessed with plenty of chest hair and is obviously proud of it. His cologne was distracting.
I told him they wanted me to stay for 3 days. He was shocked. He was very nonchalant about it all as we discussed all of the possible ways I may have been exposed to radiation when I was younger. I couldn't think of many, other than frolicking through Poland and Slovakia in college, but I figured any Chernobyl radiation had long since dissipated by that time. He agreed. My mom reminded me of the time we camped off of San Onofre in CA, and the water glowed. My mom and aunt decided to get out of the water as they were alarmed, but we children played on. I can actually understand that as a mom. We were just downstream, or upstream? from a nuclear power plant. Hmmm...
The oncology nurse appeared a while later. When I told her I had 2 little kids, she kept repeating, 'oh, lord Jesus, oh lord Jesus' I don't really know how many times she said it, but added, 'I don't like that.' I assured her I was going to a hotel after my stay in the hospital. She was worried about exposure.
I was just getting comfortable with feeling like a leper. My door is plastered with ‘biohazard’ and ‘radioactive’ in 2 languages mind you, and my doors and walls are lead plated. She appeared with the nuclear medicine dr. who would actually oversee me taking the pill. The dr. was less alarmed than the nurse and went through the precautions with me again. Flush twice, eat lemon candy and chew gum to keep the salivary gland working, drink loads of water. The nurse removed it from a lead-clad case that housed a clay canister that contained the pill. She asked 3 times. 'Now you don't have any more questions, right? When I take it out, I want you to just swallow it right away.’
I couldn’t understand the big deal. She handed me a glass vial with the pill inside. I held it to my lips and paused; 'now how do i know this is the right dosage?' They assured me they had tested it with a Geiger counter. I swallowed it. She said, 'now I knew you were going to do that. I knew you were going to hold the pill there and ask more questions.' I guess they were really trying to minimize exposure.
That was it! I was ready to move on to the funny movies! After a huge mishap with my laptop in which it all but self destructed, my dear husband ran out to find me a new one. Mine had been giving me trouble for about 18 months and I needed it for work anyway. I needed it for the $3.75 that I earned last week for French translation. Actually I was completely distraught over the possibility of not having a way to watch my movies while I’m in here. Matt understood the extent of my angst and summarily went out to find me the perfect replacement laptop
It had been about an hour since I had taken the pill. My radiologist knocked at the door. He is one year older than me. That is strange. Also strange that he has his Md and PhD. We have mutual friends from high school.
He asked how I was and I told him. He sat down to chat. I was a little embarrassed because without my movies I had spared no time jumping into the trashiest and most mindless fun I could find: Okay magazine and Sunset Tan. We had a friendly exchange over the fact that Costco sells magazines at 30% their cover price. I mean this guy was sincerely excited and really grilled me on what their physical location was within the store. I was thinking to myself, ‘did you really just say Brangelina?’ and are you really interested in Katie Holmes’ move to New York? Perhaps he was as he did his residency at what apparently is the #1 cancer hospital in the US which is in NYC.
I find all of his credentials reassuring. He stood up to go and held his hand out to shake mine. I was incredulous. ‘You’re going to touch me?’ I said. It was brilliant. I felt like I was reaching through the bubble to make my first human contact.
Matt arrived at that very moment. The dr. said to just come in instead of passing my little beauty to the nurses. I was thrilled at the healthy delivery of my new laptop.
I was starving! I ordered dinner: soup, veggie burger, fries (oh yeah), fresh fruit, chocolate cake (oh yeah), and Tazo calm tea. After having lost my dinner, the staff finally appeared with it about a 1 1/2 hrs. later. I was so hungry! It was about 9pm.
Those who know my family well know that we, the Moy side, are compelled to mention every single thing we are going to put in our mouths for any given meal. It always drove me nuts as a kid when my grandmother would call from CA and she and my mom would go through each menu item. I always thought, ‘don’t they have anything more meaningful to say?’ And now it brings me great pleasure and peace to give my mom and sometimes by brothers a play-by-play of my meals.
The drs requested that I arrive at 11am. After a little confusion, I made it into my room around 12:45PM. I was thrilled that it was ready. It's a nice little cell, made much better by the big window and the freezing air conditioning.
I was on a fast from 8am onwards. The radioactive iodine pill was supposed to come at 2pm, but I got it at 445 pm. Matt was here and after about 3 or 4 conflicting messages about how strong the radioactive substance was that I was about to take, I finally got it.
I had actually been really scared, but felt elated when I finally took it. I guess I felt like I was moving on to the next step in this miserable process. I didn't feel anything. No nausea, no glow. A tiny dry mouth, but that is now many hours later.
The first nurse came in and helped me get settled. She told me that nothing could leave the room once I took the pill. I would have to throw everything away...I was like, 'my laptop?' I had asked for a small fridge to keep my ‘green drinks’ in. She said they would have to throw the fridge away. I thought, ‘did you even bother to think about what you just said?’ I felt like I was talking to a phone operator.
The first nuclear medicine dr. came to visit and said, ‘now when you go home tonight just don't hold your baby close to your neck for more than 2 hrs.’ He was blessed with plenty of chest hair and is obviously proud of it. His cologne was distracting.
I told him they wanted me to stay for 3 days. He was shocked. He was very nonchalant about it all as we discussed all of the possible ways I may have been exposed to radiation when I was younger. I couldn't think of many, other than frolicking through Poland and Slovakia in college, but I figured any Chernobyl radiation had long since dissipated by that time. He agreed. My mom reminded me of the time we camped off of San Onofre in CA, and the water glowed. My mom and aunt decided to get out of the water as they were alarmed, but we children played on. I can actually understand that as a mom. We were just downstream, or upstream? from a nuclear power plant. Hmmm...
The oncology nurse appeared a while later. When I told her I had 2 little kids, she kept repeating, 'oh, lord Jesus, oh lord Jesus' I don't really know how many times she said it, but added, 'I don't like that.' I assured her I was going to a hotel after my stay in the hospital. She was worried about exposure.
I was just getting comfortable with feeling like a leper. My door is plastered with ‘biohazard’ and ‘radioactive’ in 2 languages mind you, and my doors and walls are lead plated. She appeared with the nuclear medicine dr. who would actually oversee me taking the pill. The dr. was less alarmed than the nurse and went through the precautions with me again. Flush twice, eat lemon candy and chew gum to keep the salivary gland working, drink loads of water. The nurse removed it from a lead-clad case that housed a clay canister that contained the pill. She asked 3 times. 'Now you don't have any more questions, right? When I take it out, I want you to just swallow it right away.’
I couldn’t understand the big deal. She handed me a glass vial with the pill inside. I held it to my lips and paused; 'now how do i know this is the right dosage?' They assured me they had tested it with a Geiger counter. I swallowed it. She said, 'now I knew you were going to do that. I knew you were going to hold the pill there and ask more questions.' I guess they were really trying to minimize exposure.
That was it! I was ready to move on to the funny movies! After a huge mishap with my laptop in which it all but self destructed, my dear husband ran out to find me a new one. Mine had been giving me trouble for about 18 months and I needed it for work anyway. I needed it for the $3.75 that I earned last week for French translation. Actually I was completely distraught over the possibility of not having a way to watch my movies while I’m in here. Matt understood the extent of my angst and summarily went out to find me the perfect replacement laptop
It had been about an hour since I had taken the pill. My radiologist knocked at the door. He is one year older than me. That is strange. Also strange that he has his Md and PhD. We have mutual friends from high school.
He asked how I was and I told him. He sat down to chat. I was a little embarrassed because without my movies I had spared no time jumping into the trashiest and most mindless fun I could find: Okay magazine and Sunset Tan. We had a friendly exchange over the fact that Costco sells magazines at 30% their cover price. I mean this guy was sincerely excited and really grilled me on what their physical location was within the store. I was thinking to myself, ‘did you really just say Brangelina?’ and are you really interested in Katie Holmes’ move to New York? Perhaps he was as he did his residency at what apparently is the #1 cancer hospital in the US which is in NYC.
I find all of his credentials reassuring. He stood up to go and held his hand out to shake mine. I was incredulous. ‘You’re going to touch me?’ I said. It was brilliant. I felt like I was reaching through the bubble to make my first human contact.
Matt arrived at that very moment. The dr. said to just come in instead of passing my little beauty to the nurses. I was thrilled at the healthy delivery of my new laptop.
I was starving! I ordered dinner: soup, veggie burger, fries (oh yeah), fresh fruit, chocolate cake (oh yeah), and Tazo calm tea. After having lost my dinner, the staff finally appeared with it about a 1 1/2 hrs. later. I was so hungry! It was about 9pm.
Those who know my family well know that we, the Moy side, are compelled to mention every single thing we are going to put in our mouths for any given meal. It always drove me nuts as a kid when my grandmother would call from CA and she and my mom would go through each menu item. I always thought, ‘don’t they have anything more meaningful to say?’ And now it brings me great pleasure and peace to give my mom and sometimes by brothers a play-by-play of my meals.
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